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In this autoethnography, BW and I explore the various ways in which my experiences of lockdown during the Coronavirus pandemic are not altogether different from my everyday experiences as a visually impaired person. Further, we make sense of my experience that, notwithstanding the social world's expression of feelings about lockdown and social distancing, my own reactions to disability-imposed lockdown remain unrecognized, invalidated and unseen. Making sense of these experiences of invisibility is essential, since it is only when our experiences are truly contemplated by others that we can have the hope of being fully known. In this paper, my co-author and I explain the various ways in which my experiences of lockdown during the Coronavirus pandemic are not altogether different from my everyday experiences as a visually impaired person; I provide examples to illustrate that there are anxiety-provoking challenges lurking outside my home; Yet, giving in to these anxieties and being confined to my home is too painful to give in to; While my everyday experiences are, too some extent, what the world is experiencing at the current moment with social distancing and lockdown, my feelings about disability-imposed lockdown remain unrecognized, invalidated and unseen; It is important to voice and make known these realities, For it is only when our experiences are truly seen—when we are completely known—that we can move towards self-acceptance. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]

While disability scholars are increasingly exploring the experiences of disabled employees within the academe, there seemingly does not exist literature on this topic in South Africa. In this autoethnography, I make sense of my experiences as a visually impaired university lecturer. I dissect my continual performances of able-bodiedness – my efforts to conceal truths around my disability – despite a seemingly inclusive work environment. I discuss the psychological cost of these performances and, lastly, illustrate the importance of a creative, open and responsive attitude on the part of nondisabled colleagues and managers to help their disabled colleagues to become their true and authentic self. While literature on the experiences of Black academics is on the rise, very few studies investigate the experiences of disabled academics; Currently, there is no literature that tells the stories of disabled academics within South Africa; In this autoethnography, I narrate aspects of my experiences as an academic with a visual impairment; In this paper, I unravel my continual able-bodied performances within the academy and the cost thereof; Lastly, I discuss the importance of open and responsive relationships between managers and disabled academics. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]