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This study explores the lived experiences of individuals who are suffering from recurrent depression. Open interviews were conducted in Sweden with ten participants aged 19-67. Guided by the phenomenological method of Giorgi, data were analyzed within a Reflective Lifeworld Approach. The findings revealed a pattern of meaning, described as being alienated from oneself and others. Depression is described as an insidious disorder and participants described their experiences variously as elusive, extensive, complex, contradictory, paradoxical and stated that depression pervaded the person's whole lifeworld, involved both body and soul, and affected relationships with others. Relationships with others could be the reason for both wanting to live or to die. How best to confirm this form of suffering is something of a challenge to mental health care professionals.