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The purpose of this research was to provide insight into how the discourses of Whiteness influence the behaviors of White leaders to maintain systems of oppression and dominance that exacerbate racism and inequity in higher education. Using critical Whiteness theory as a framework and critical autoethnography as the methodology, I used my lived experience as a White, upper-middle class woman working in higher education leadership as the source of data collection and analysis to better understand how to effectively model anti-racist leadership that builds equity and inclusion. This study developed using foundational concepts of autoethnography including an emergent design, the documentation of an epiphany and the use of reflexive writing to collect and analyze data. Specifically, this research focused on my experiences at NCORE 2018 and NCORE 2019, and the process I went through learning the truth about my family history, which is directly tied to White supremacy. The key findings of my research suggest that the discourses that uphold White supremacy are maintained by epistemological ignorance, which frames national, as well as family level discourse. At the national and family level, discourses tied to settler-colonialism, individualism, manifest destiny, moral goodness and work-ethic provide a framework for how we understand the world, justify privilege and view our relationship to power. In this context, Whiteness becomes a form of property, which has deep connections to higher education. I have also identified that in this framework, Whiteness is about the protection of opportunity, which most White people view as meritocracy; also, relevant to higher education. White people cannot begin to see the systems we uphold until we understand that we are the system. Autoethnography can be used to build critical race cognizance through the deconstruction of self and family history. By making past connections to White supremacy visible, White people can begin to see how we uphold systemic racism in the present. I have determined that as a White leader in higher education, the first step towards anti-racist leadership is understanding that it is impossible to separate being a White person from White supremacy. We must learn to see and take responsibility. [The dissertation citations contained here are published with the permission of ProQuest LLC. Further reproduction is prohibited without permission. Copies of dissertations may be obtained by Telephone (800) 1-800-521-0600. Web page: http://www.proquest.com/en-US/products/dissertations/individuals.shtml.]