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The author reflects on the phenomenon of title inflation and mentions several humorous examples. The history of titles in the English language is discussed. A new science of exaltametrics, which would adjust titles for inflation, is proposed by the author. Examples include Jong-Il Kim's many self-endowed titles and the large number of executives running the football team the Huston Texans.

The author cites the year 1999 as an epochal year in the history of names and name changes. The author discusses the issues of name changes on crayons, Internet domain names, city name changes, and species names. The author asserts that while there are a numerous amount of names, there can also never be enough because things are always being discovered. The author humorously proposes expanding the use of Latin in naming.