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The article takes the perspective of parenthood as a complex transition process that young adults have to pass through and have to manage. Becoming and being a parent today is not a self-evident stage in the life course as it was for former generations, but involves the necessity and ability to develop and use networks and learn to find a balance between options and constraints. Starting from youth sociological theories about destandardized life courses in late modernity, the Dutch case is taken to illustrate new learning demands and desires of young parents, Dutch as well as non-Dutch. The 'combination problem' of work and care is different for Dutch and non-Dutch young parents. Political initiatives and new institutional facilities at the local level have developed, which are intended to activate the self-responsibility of young adults and parents. It is shown that the social welfare state of the Netherlands still provides fair living chances for the majority of young people and parents but that the tension between Dutch and non-Dutch groups is growing. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]