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Differentiation of self refers to the capacity of individuals to manage their emotions, remain thoughtful in strong emotional experiences, and the ability to experience intimacy and independence in relationships. Individual differences in differentiation of self may influence the performance of mate retention behaviors. Because poorly differentiated individuals find separation and rejection unbearable and anxiety-provoking, we hypothesized that different levels of differentiation is related to different strategies of mate retention behaviors. However, little empirical attention has been given to the relationship between differentiation of self and mate retention behaviors, particularly in non-individualistic cultures. We aimed to investigate the mediating role of communication patterns in the relationship between differentiation of self and mate retention behaviors. The sample included 282 married individuals from Community Centers (some neighborhoods in Tehran, Iran). The results supported the associations between mate retention behaviors and differentiation of self, and also showed that communication patterns mediate this relationship. This study improves our understanding of differentiation of self and mate retention behaviors in the context of long-term committed relationships from an evolutionary psychological perspective. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]