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How couples with kids can transform 13 common relationship fights into closer connection, from popular Instagram counselors Erin and Stephen Mitchell (@couples.counseling.for.parents).Parenting changes a couple's relationship in fundamental ways, but most parents are too exhausted from the demands of life, work, and engaging their kids to prioritize their relationship. This can lead to repeated conflict and an overwhelming sense of anxiety, anger, hurt, and loneliness…just when you need your partner's support the most. The good news: conflict is actually a sign that you are trying to connect with your partner—you're just stuck in an old pattern of communication.In Too Tired to Fight, Erin and Stephen Mitchell use their 20-plus years of counseling experience to walk couples through the 13 conflicts that are not just normal but necessary to keep a partnership strong once kids enter the picture, including: The “Your Parenting Is Wrong” ConflictThe “I'm More Tired Than You” Conflict The “Stop Choosing Your Family Over Ours” Conflict The “Sex Life? What Sex Life?” Conflict In each scenario, they show how this conflict plays out—and offer scripts, questions for reflection, and their tried-and-true Conflict to Connection Equation that couples can use in the moment to communicate true repair and resolution. Their secret: by expressing your feelings and intentionally listening to your partner—not just venting or reacting to your stress-response system—you can work through the “pain points” of parenthood together and actually make your relationship happier and healthier as a result.

This book explores how experiences of IVF can affect the transition to parenthood for non-donor infertile couples.Drawing on empirical research and the broader social sciences literature, the book sets out the context of complex modern family building and discusses how infertility and IVF continue to shape parenthood and family building after successful IVF conception. It looks at how stigma, disclosure, loss, and gender affect the transition to parenthood, as well as what happens when parents start thinking about trying for siblings. We highlight the key roles for health care professionals (nurses, midwives, and health visitors) when caring for these new parents, in providing social support and facilitating good communication to foster emotional well-being.Ideal for nurses and midwives working in reproductive health as well as primary care nurses and health visitors, this applied text is a key reference for all healthcare professionals who meet people at any point on their journey to achieving pregnancy through IVF, during maternity care, and through the first few years of parenthood.

In this book, Patricia Alkolombre explores the desire for a child from a contemporary psychoanalytic perspective, and covers the questions raised in the face of new resources offered by reproductive medicine.This volume reviews traditional psychoanalytic conceptualisations from the perspective of gender theories and analyses theoretical hegemonies related to the desire and passion for a child. Alkolombre discusses how the ‘passion to have a child'is a key aspect of motherhood, characterised by emotional intensity, persistence, and self-sacrificial aspects.The book is divided into three sections: Part One deals with the desire and passion to have a child, while Part Two focuses on the impact of reproductive techniques, as well as the ever-changing role of parenthood in the modern day. Throughout these fascinating chapters, clinical vignettes of both individual and couple analyses span topics such as mourning, the use of reproductive technology, the anonymity of gamete donors, enigmatic infertility, surrogacy, and abortion from an interdisciplinary perspective. The historical and cultural contexts of infertility are reviewed from a psychoanalytic angle in Part Three with the view of transcending the former androcentric perspective that has deeply influenced the maternal ideal and expectations of men. Alkolombre also proposes a new analysis of the Oedipus myth. This book is vital reading for psychoanalysts, mental health professionals, teachers and students interested in contemporary parenting, motherhood, and infertility, as well as the theoretical analysis of the desire for a child.

Finding Your Way with Your Baby explores the emotional experience of the baby in the first year and that of the mother, father and other significant adults.This updated edition is informed by latest research in neuroscience, psychoanalysis and infant observation and decades of clinical experience. It also includes important new findings about how the mother's brain undergoes massive restructuring during the transition to parenthood, a phenomenon that has been named ‘matrescence.'The authors engage with the difficult emotional experiences that are often glossed over in parenting books – such as bonding, ambivalence about the baby, depression and the emotional turmoil of being a new parent. Acknowledgement and understanding of this darker side of family life offer a sense of relief that can allow parents to harness the power of knowing, owning and sharing feelings to transform situations and break negative cycles and old ways of relating.With real-life examples, the book remains a helpful resource for parents, as well as professionals interested in ideas from psychoanalytic clinical practice including health visitors, midwives, social workers, general practitioners, paediatricians and childcare workers.Chapter 9 of this book is freely available as a downloadable Open Access PDFat http://www.taylorfrancis.com under a Creative Commons [Attribution-NonCommercial-No Derivatives (CC-BY-NC-ND)] 4.0 license.”

Queer parenthood: It's multifaceted. It's complex. And it is constantly changing, as laws and culture shift around us. What's in a Name? reflects on this complexity through the voices of nonbiological/non-gestational queer mothers/parents who explore our experiences parenting across our different social and familial locations. The authors have all taken different routes to parenting, live in different countries, and understand our relationships to parenting through our own personal experiences. What we share is a commitment to parenting beyond the limits of biology, and of building families that are drawn together and maintained by the love and labour of parenting. The fifteen essays in this book address three key moments in our parenting journeys. First, we examine the routes we took to parenting, with many of us specifically focusing on the experience of being the “other” mother while our partners were pregnant, and the particular fears, anxieties, and triumphs that come with it. Second, we locate ourselves “in the thick of it” as parents, where the experiences shared among parents are colored by our particular experiences as nonbiological/non-gestational mothers/parents. Finally, we reflect on our identities, including the identity of “mother,” and how those grow, shift, and develop throughout our parenting journeys.

'All new moms should shove a copy of The Kids Are in Bed in the diaper bag between the asswipes and Aquaphor! A perfect guide on how-to not morph solely into someone's mom and retain your badassery in a world of Disneyfication and baby sharks.”—Jill Kargman, author of Sprinkle Glitter on My Grave and creator of Odd Mom Out Picture it—it's 8:30 p.m. You close the door to your child's room just as you hear your partner closing the dishwasher, and now it's time for an hour or two of glorious freedom. What do you do? Read the book you've been waiting to crack open all day? Chat on the phone with a friend, glass of wine in hand, or go out with pals and share a whole bottle? Or, like many modern parents, do you get caught up in chores, busywork, and social media black holes?In an original survey conducted for this book, 71 percent of parents said their free time didn't feel free at all, because they were still thinking about all the things they should be doing for their kids, their jobs, and their households. Rachel Bertsche found herself in exactly that bind. After dozens of interviews with scientists and parenting experts, input from moms and dads across the country, and her own experiments with her personal time, Rachel figured out how to transform her patterns and reconnect to her pre-kids life. In The Kids Are in Bed, other parents can learn to do the same, and learn to truly enjoy the time after lights-out.

Diverse Pathways to Parenthood: From Narratives to Practice is a timely contribution to the study of reproduction and parenthood. Drawing on a wide breadth of projects, this book covers topics such as first time parents, donor conception, pregnancy loss, surrogacy, lesbian, gay and/or transgender parenting, fostering and adoption, grandparenting, and human/animal kinship. By presenting individual narratives focused on reproduction and parenthood, this book successfully translates empirical research into practical, applied outcomes that will be of use for all those working in the fields of reproduction and parenthood. Including recommendations for fertility specialists, educators, child protection agencies, reproductive counselors, and policy makers, Diverse Pathways to Parenthood: From Narratives to Practice is a vital new resource that will help guide practice into the future. As a contribution to the field of critical kinship studies, this book heralds new directions for the study of kinship, by revisiting as well as reimagining how we think about, research, and respond to a diversity of kinship forms. - Includes over 70 narratives representative of hundreds of interviews collected as a part of 15 research projects undertaken over the past decade - Supported by a companion website that provides further materials and information: www.diversepathways.com - Translates critical kinship studies theory into applied tools for practice in the fields of reproduction and parenthood

Voluntarily Childfree: Identity and Kinship in the United States discusses what it means to make a life worth living without traditional parenthood. Themes include authenticity and autonomy, partnership and support, fulfillment of the need to nurture, freedom of choice, and a desire to leave the world a better place than we found it. Despite the stigmas of selfishness and solitude, the voices in Voluntarily Childfree speak poignantly of their commitment to a different type of family that includes romantic partners, friends, pets, and future generations through mentorship and leadership opportunities. At its core, the human desire to connect and be heard remains, regardless of the decision to reproduce or not. This book is recommended for students and scholars of anthropology, sociology, cultural studies, and psychology.

This volume explores the transition to parenthood from a holistic developmental approach, relating to barriers such as fertility problems and traumatic childbirth, as well as pathways such as positive experiences of pregnancy and childbirth. It presents an extended process, beginning with infertility issues, continuing with subjects pertaining to decisions regarding parenthood, pregnancy and birth, and ending with the early stages of parenthood from a positive psychology perspective. The volume draws on theories of resilience, meaning, terror management, and attachment, and considers psychological, sociological, legal, policy, medical, and therapy issues. It relates to the developmental needs of individuals and couples, as well as to the role played by family, society, and the media, offering a comprehensive in-depth evaluation of the latest topics.

Gravidez: a história interior nos remete a reflexões e informações que ajudarão a esclarecer muitas questões que acompanham a gravidez, dentre outras, os aspectos biológicos da reprodução, fantasias, inquietações e o desenvolvimento da mulher enquanto pessoa. A história interior de cada mãe é única e não há modo de generalizar todos os casos. Porém, existem fatores comuns a todas as gestantes, aos parceiros, aos familiares e aos profissionais, que são ricamente abordados neste livro.

Childbearing seems eternal, primordial and universal. Yet human reproduction in the 21st century is in a state of flux. This accessible book highlights dramatic changes that have occurred over the last decades, focusing on both individual and cross-cultural diversity across the now elongated childbearing cycle and the uniqueness of desire and emotional experience. It does so by locating the transition to parenthood in its psycho-sexual and socio-economic context, emphasising interweaving internal/external realities and our inherent interconnectedness with others. Included are conscious and unconscious factors determining beliefs, expectations and parenting practices, and ways in which these are affected by rapid urbanisation, shrinking families, societal instability, HIV, governmental maternity and child care policies, and attitudes of professionals. Drawing widely on empirical and clinical research from disparate disciplines psychoanalytic, neuro-scientific, neonatal, sociological, obstetric, anthropological and midwifery this resource book synthesises these to illustrate a spectrum of processes affecting each person's mental health.

Bernhard Riederer untersucht Auswirkungen der Elternschaft auf Glück und Zufriedenheit. Er zeigt, dass das individuelle und gesellschaftliche Umfeld beeinflussen, welche Konsequenzen Kinder für das Wohlbefinden der Eltern haben. In Einklang mit geringen Geburtenraten, Problemen der Vereinbarkeit von Familie und Beruf oder der ‚Regretting Motherhood‘-Debatte erläutert die Glücksforschung, dass sich Kinder in westlichen Gesellschaften tendenziell negativ auf ihre Eltern auswirken. Die empirische Analyse von Daten 30 europäischer Staaten verdeutlicht jedoch, dass es zu positiven wie negativen Effekten kommt. Faktoren auf Individual-, Paar- und Gesellschaftsebene beeinflussen den Zusammenhang zwischen Kindern und Wohlbefinden systematisch. Dazu zählen in erster Linie Lebensabschnitt, Partnerschaftsstatus, Prozesse zwischen den Partnern, Kinderbetreuung und gesellschaftlich dominante Wertvorstellungen.Der Autor Dr. Bernhard Riederer ist Sozialwissenschaftler und wissenschaftlicher Mitarbeiter am Wittgenstein Centre (IIASA, VID/ÖAW, WU), Vienna Institute of Demography/Österreichische Akademie der Wissenschaften.

Although motherhood writings are rich and emerging, the available literature on midlife motherhood and mothering is incomplete and often presented from a narrow perspective. Middle Grounds: Essays on Midlife Mothering fills this gap, widening the lens on a sociological phenomenon that is expanding in the twenty first century. It brings together scholarly and creative essays from diverse disciplines and cultural perspectives to reflect a more contemporary viewpoint — that motherhood and mothering is not limited by the stages of life or chronological age. It echoes distinct voices speaking about experiences that represent a global reality for midlife mothering practices. In essence, this collection demonstrates that everything can transpire in the middle period of a woman's life. Thus, in midlife, we encounter a broad range of mothering experiences and practices, and ways of representing and expressing them.

Des modèles théoriques ont accompagné depuis quelques décennies les pratiques de la prise en charge de la dyade mère bébé, de l'interaction mère-père bébé. Mais depuis les années 1990, de nouvelles recherches et pratiques sont apparues concernant la psychanalyse de la famille. Ce livre décrit la théorisation de cette approche familiale psychanalytique périnatale, issue entre autre de la pratique et des recherches de l'auteur. Cette approche groupale de la famille lors de l'arrivée du bébé permet d'explorer le fonctionnement psychique du groupe famille et d'approfondir l'opportunité de techniques thérapeutiques car ces connaissances ouvrent sur des prises en charge et des préventions efficaces en périnatalité.

Eltern zu werden geht mit tiefgreifenden Veränderungen der Persönlichkeit einher, vergleichbar mit denen in der Pubertät. Nicht nur der weibliche Köprer verändert sich daher, auch in der Psyche der werdenden Eltern spielen sich intensive physische Umwälzungen ab. Beide, Mutter und Vater, müssen mit mit Ängsten, Hoffnungen und mit neuen familiären Beziehungen zurecht kommen. Die Autorinnen beschreiben erstmalig detailliert die psychischen Prozesse, die Schwangerschaft, Geburt und Stillen für Paare mit sich bringen.

Finding Your Way with Your Baby explores the emotional experience of the baby in the first year, and that of the mother, father and other significant adults. It does so in a way that is deeply informed by psychoanalytic understandings, infant observation, developmental science and decades of clinical experience. Combining the wisdom of many years'work with the freshness of up-to-date knowledge, Dilys Daws and Alexandra de Rementeria engage with the most difficult emotional experiences that are often glossed over in parenting books – such as pregnancy, through birth into bonding, ambivalence about the baby, depression, and the emotional turmoil so often brought to the surface by being a new parent. Acknowledgement and understanding about this darker side of family life offers a sense of relief that can allow parents to harness the power of knowing, owning and sharing feelings to transform situations and break negative cycles and old ways of relating. With real-life examples, references to current thinking and a calm and simple writing style they also provide new insights into the more commonly covered issues such as weaning, sleeping and crying. Finding Your Way with Your Baby is primarily aimed at parents but it will be a helpful resource for all those working with parents and babies including health visitors, midwives, social workers, GPs, paediatricians and childcare workers. It will appeal to parents and professionals who are interested in ideas from psychoanalytic clinical practice and the latest research in developmental psychology and neuroscience.

Andrew Marshall spent almost thirty years helping couples resolve arguments and fall back in love again. In his first book, I Love You But I'm Not In Love with You, he shed light on a universal relationship problem: What happens when lust turns lukewarm. In I Love You But You Always Put Me Last, Marshall addresses one of the most fundamental relationship issues that fuels so much frustration and discord: letting your children ruin your marriage. Here, he shines a light on how easy it is to lose sight of being husband and wife once they become mommy and daddy, and how that breeds not only unhappy parents but fractious and desperate kids, because kids thrive when parents are in harmony and tackle problems as a team. Marshall's unique 10-Step plan will help couples rekindle the fire in their relationship by learning to restore the proper balance of shared priorities to keep the respect, fun and passion alive – even when baby makes 3…or 4…or 5.

Love Song for Baby X is the moving and humorous story of a lesbian couple's struggles with infertility as they attempt to become parents, set against the backdrop of the marriage equality movement. While poet Cheryl Dumesnil suspects she'll confront some formidable obstacles on her path to parenthood, she is nevertheless unprepared for what she actually encounters, including navigating the maze of the high-tech fertility business, the emotional conundrum of pregnancy loss, and the gathering steam of the marriage equality movement. Love Song for Baby X follows Cheryl and her unlawfully wedded wife through four conceptions, three miscarriages, a temporarily legal wedding during San Francisco's Winter of Love in 2004, a stint as poster children for the marriage equality movement, and finally the arrival of their longed-for son—after twenty-five hours of labor. Along the way Dumesnil fails often (and comically) in her attempts to cultivate inner peace. Though she struggles mightily with the opposing forces of hope and fear, in the end, she finds the middle ground between them: acceptance. Winner of the 2008 Agnes Lynch Starrett Poetry Prize, Cheryl Dumesnil is the author of In Praise of Falling, editor of Hitched! Wedding Stories from San Francisco City Hall, and co-editor, with Kim Addonizio, of Dorothy Parker's Elbow: Tattoos on Writers, Writers on Tattoos. Her poems have appeared in Nimrod, Indiana Review, Calyx, and Many Mountains Moving, among other literary magazines. Her essays have appeared on literarymama.com, hipmama.com, mamazine.com, and in Hip Mama Zine. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her wife and their two sons.

Recognize the hidden costs and rewards of childrearing!The Effect of Children on Parents, Second Edition, thoughtfully explores the interactions by which parents and children change, develop, and sometimes affect each other negatively. Everyone knows that parents influence their children, but few people consider the ways in which children affect their parents. The love, satisfaction, and fulfillment children offer can change parents'lives. So can the stress, worry, and financial drain. The Effect of Children on Parents, Second Edition, honestly confronts these long-neglected issues of family dynamics. Taking a unique interdisciplinary approach, this book describes in great detail, with jargon-free language the various aspects of children's effects on their parents. This second edition contains an abundance of fresh information, including nine entirely new chapters that deal with such complex topics as the effects on parents of children with emotional, behavioral, and delinquency problems. The Effect of Children on Parents, Second Edition, asks and answers essential questions on the parent-child dynamic, including: what role does genetic inheritance play in children's responses to their parents? how do peers influence children and through them, their parents? what happens to parents when children are difficult or have emotional problems? what special considerations apply to minority or adoptive parents? how do adult childrem affect their aging parents? how does society support or undermine parents? what roadblocks prevent parents from being as effective as they would like to be? The Effect of Children on Parents, Second Edition, takes a brave look at this often ignored area of family dynamics, giving a richer, more complex, and ultimately more healing view of how humans interact in families. Professors, students, and experts in the fields of child development, family studies, and sociology of childhood and family will find this book a sophisticated tool in their desire to better understand and help families and children.

Mother Love isn't a parenting book. It was written to help parents makes the transition from person to parent with confidence and emotional strength. It does not include anything about labour, breastfeeding or the physical care of mum and baby. It is about the emotional journey for the parents. Using experiences gathered from parents around Australian, and based on facts from medical professionals, it focuses on the reality of being a parent and what to expect, while helping the reader understand that what you might have expected can be quite difference from the reality. Mother Love takes the romance out of parenthood, and focuses on practical ways to deal with the challenges ensuring parental emotional wellness that may arise at this very important time in your life.

Across all cultures parenting is the foundation of family life. It is the domain where adult mental health meets infant development. Beginning in pregnancy, parenting involves many conscious and unconscious processes which have recently been shown to affect a child's development significantly. This book focuses on pregnancy and the first year of life, providing a thorough account of the points of encounter between adult and infant psychiatry. In a fresh and comprehensive way, it summarises knowledge about early parenting, including a critical analysis of parenting, what it means to be a'good enough parent', and its relationship to infant, parent and family outcomes. In addition to the psychiatric dimension, the book emphasises the biological aspects of parenting, parental psychopathology and normal and abnormal infant development. Praise for Parenting and Mental Health:'Tyano, Keren, Herrman and Cox have edited a thoughtfully prepared guide on normal and abnormal parenting. They have, with enormous skill and wisdom, helped to unite the important aspects of pregnancy, infant and childhood development and parenting for adult and child and adolescent psychiatrists. World-class internationally recognized clinicians and researchers help make this book useful throughout the world. This is a masterful, culturally sensitive and important book which provides a long overdue and much needed guide on relationships among children, parents and families.'-Michelle Riba, M.D., M.S., Professor and Associate Chair for Integrated Medical and Psychiatric Services, Department of Psychiatry, University of Michigan, USA'During recent decades, progress in the field of infant mental health has been revolutionary; at the same time, there has been rapid development in women's mental health. By bringing these two together, this pioneering book leads its readers to the vital new focal point around perinatal mental health. The book integrates the origins of developmental psychiatry in attachment and systemic contexts and shows concretely how relationship experiences and biology interact when new life begins. After describing the fascinating world of early parenting, the book focuses on problems, difficulties and disorders during this phase of life and above all on how to support, intervene and treat disorders in parenting. When infants, mothers and fathers are understood in a holistic way, professionals in many fields will be able to promote the transmission of meaningful life through parenthood and parenting.'-Tuula Tamminen, Professor of Child Psychiatry, University of Tampere, Finland; Past-President of World Association for Infant Mental Health, President of European Society for Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Cover design by Reouth KerenSam Tyano is Professor of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at Tel-Aviv University. He is also visiting Professor at Lille University, France. Author of more than 200 scientific articles in international scientific journals, and editor of three textbooks on psychiatry, child psychiatry and ADHD. His main scientific interests are suicidal adolescents, ADHD, infant psychiatry, personality disorders and PTSD. Miri Keren, also of Tel-Aviv University, is President of the World Association of Infant Mental Health. John Cox is apast President of the Royal College of Psychiatrists. He was awarded the Marcé Medal in recognition of his distinguished contribution to the field of perinatal psychiatry and he served as President of the Marcé Society. Helen Herrman is Director, WHO Collaborating Centre in Mental Health., Melbourne; Secretary for Publications, World Psychiatric Association; Regional Vice-President Oceania, World Federation for Mental Health; and Vice-President of the International Federation of Psychiatric Epidemiology.

The shocking treatise that was a bestselling international media sensation upon its 2007 publication in France now makes its eagerly anticipated English-language debut. A mother of two herself, Maier makes her deadly serious, if at times laugh-out-loud-funny, argument with all the unbridled force of her famously wicked intellect. In forty to-the-point, impressively erudite chapters drawing on the realms of history, child psychology, politics, and the environment, Maier effortlessly skewers the idealized notion of parenthood as a natural and beautiful endeavour. Enough with this “baby-mania” that is plaguing modern society, says Maier, it's nothing but brainwashing. Are you prepared to give up your free time, dinners with friends, spontaneous romantic getaways, and even the luxury of uninterrupted thought for the “vicious little dwarves” that will treat you like their servant, cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars, and end up resenting you? Speaking to the still “child-free”, to fellow suffering parents, and to adamant procreationists alike, No Kids is a controversial, thought-provoking, and undeniably entertaining read. Reasons to avoid having kids: •You will lose touch with your friends •Your sex life will be over •Children cost a fortune • Child-rearing is endless drudgery •Vacations will be nightmares •You'll lose your identity and become just “mom” or “dad” •Your children will become mindless drones of capitalism •The planet's already overcrowded •Your children will inevitably disappoint you

Does your heart skip a beat when you think of all that could go wrong in the parenting years ahead? Anxiety is normal, but your worst fears don't have to become reality. Speaking both as a therapist and a father—and drawing on a landmark study of thirty-five thousand parents—Dr. James Dobson helps you... prevent child-rearing troubles before they happen banish your guilt about hard-to-raise children protect your sanity during a child's adolescence restore your energy when you're facing burnout enhance your relationships with your kids With more than one million copies sold, this confidence-building classic will help you experience the full joy of parenthood—and what may be the greatest sense of fulfillment you'll ever know.

A collection of lectures by eminent members of the British Psycho-analytical Society. Includes papers on the experience of having a baby, pregnancy and the internal world, pregnancy after stillbirth or neonatal death, and therapeutic intervention for post-partum disturbance.