The conference paper.

Purpose – A satire on conference paper presentations. Design/methodology/approach – A poetic critique of conference presenters and their occasional failure to engage with their audience. Findings – What may be fascinating and of assumed and obvious importance to a research presenter may be quite obscure to their audience, who nonetheless participate in the ritual of conference attendance and polite "listening". Research limitations/implications – The reader may discover even more meaning in this poem than its original author envisaged. Originality/value – A poignant reminder of the perils of many conference presentations. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]