“He was the king of the house” children’s perspectives on the men who abused their mothers

AbstractChildren living with domestic violence are exposed to the multiple strategies used by perpetrators to control their mothers, which affects their safety and well-being. However, limited research has investigated children’s relationships with their fathers or their mothers’ partners in this context. This gap in the literature is problematic, as investigating children’s relationships with these men is critical in order to fully understand their experiences and develop policies and practices that respect their rights and adequately respond to their needs. This article reports findings from a study that was conducted with children, and focuses on their relationships with the perpetrators, both before and after separation. The study drew upon a participatory and qualitative methodology, which involved focus groups and individual interviews with 59 participants aged between 6 and 18 years. The research findings revealed that children’s relationships with their fathers and mothers’ partners had been characterized by violence and control, which had resulted in a range of negative feelings. Several participants reported that they had been relieved to have limited or no contact with these men since separation. While some participants expressed ongoing fear, a few participants noted that the relationships with their fathers had improved during this period.